Telling Petra's Story

Roy Allgood and Petra with family in China

                 a few years before both parents died. 

  The Telling has a life of its own.

     The information I was given by Alt for Norge about my grandmother Oline Petra Staven (Johnsen) percolated for the entire trip back to the USA.  I kept coming up with different scenarios and multitudes of questions. What was the relationship between her and her great aunt?  What was she doing in Trondheim?  Where was the rest of her family? She was 18. Did she really steal and commit murder and how could she?-  my saint of a grandmother?  Why had she been pardoned by the King and how did she get to the USA? I was in a bit of a state of shock.

      I had gone to Norway with romantic ideas of bucolic poverty and was now faced with a very different picture. I remembered blathering on about how much at home I felt in Norway, about how I have been drawn to similar land and chosen to live my life in ways that are very Norwegian. Blah, blah, maybe DNA has memory....  And now I wondered if all the while, those of the crew who knew of my grandmother's crime were watching me, waiting for my murderous DNA to come through. I ruminated.  It is a long trip from Oslo to Portland.

      But most of all, I thought of my mother.  I had no idea how she would take this harrowing information. She is not a particularly sentimental woman, but still, this was her mother.  As soon as we were back in the States, I called my sister from the airport and told her. Her initial response was incredulousness, then she worried about my mother's response also.

     I had been gone almost 6 weeks and the trip home was grueling, so it was understandable that I did not want to talk right away. But I did tell my mother when she met me at the airport that I had found out some information about Petra that was "Big". I didn't smile.The next day, all I could think to do was give her my envelope and have her find out the same way as I had.  I told her how it had been given to me and watched her delve in.  She gave me imploring looks as she read and all I could do was nod and say, "Yes, I know."  When she was done, she was crying.  " Oh, the poor thing," she said, and I thought about how strange it must be to look back at the age of 83 and consider your mother as a young girl.  My mother has lived almost twice as long as her mother did.
      Then, as I watched, my mother pulled herself together, rearranging the image she had carried of her mother for most of her life - adding this key chapter to her mother's story. It did not take long.  Petra had spent her life devoted to others and now there was a reason.  My mother had to tell her sisters and called them. I wondered if Petra could have ever imagined that her children would discover her secret in their old age.

       In the following weeks, I shared this story with friends and family and found the responses interesting. It was almost a Rorshott test - each theory illuminating the inventor.  The aunt had been so mean she deserved to die; it was a mercy killing, an accident, there were accomplices.  The theories multiplied.

      We had many questions, so hired a researcher in Norway to dig for more answers.They came and they were dark. Pictures of the prison, a paltry visitor's record, a detailed description of the crime that was hard to bear.  Our imaginings of a mistreated young girl faded away.  It looked as if Petra had wanted money.  Times were hard.  My mother said, "Poverty does strange things to people."  We still struggled to accept and understand.

       I was the messenger and the liaison. I let the producers of Alt for Norge know that I had shared the information with my mother and that we were considering if we wanted to make Petra's story public.  My sister was angry. Like a true New Yorker, she was suspicious and felt we were being used by Alt for Norge. It was a good sensational story!  The tears, the shock, the drama!  I could imagine it in a bad tabloid.  Our grandmother the murderer.  So it became my job to convince my family that Norwegians are trustworthy, that the producers of Alt for Norge were respectful. They had given us veto power which was evidence of their integrity.

     I let my mother decide and she agreed to let Petra's story be told.  I was not surprised, my mother has never been one for secrets. But I think it was also that, in a strange way, my mother was even more proud of her mother than she had been before finding out about her crimes. Not only had Petra been a strong loving, giving person, she had become so after committing murder and spending 5 years in jail.  She must have carried that burden with her as she did her missionary work. She had had a harder life than we had ever imagined and redeemed herself.  I think this was what my mother wanted to share - a story of a young girl who made mistakes, paid for them, and changed.

   As the editing was being done, Alt for Norge sent us a draft of the scene of me reading from my brown envelope. Very strange to see those intense moments captured on film. My mother thought it was done respectfully and was satisfied. But now there were journalists calling and more decisions to be made. I made inquiries about the various papers and accepted interviews. If there was going to be media coverage, at least we might be able to skew the angle.  I spoke of the good life my grandmother had lived and the possiblity of change.

    It seems that the King's Pardon Petra received in 1914 had been one of many pardons given in honor of the Centennial celebration of the Norwegian Constitution. Thank you, Norway, for giving her a second chance. But she did not change her life alone. The prison chaplain helped her, she went to live with one of her sisters, and someone arranged and paid for her training as a nurse and her trip to the USA.  She had many helping hands along the way. It has made me more aware of our need to support each other.

      We had asked TV Norge to try and contact our Norwegian family and let them know about Petra's story. We did not want them embarrassed or surprised. Turns out that some of them knew about Petra, and had decided not to tell my aunt when she had visited.  They assumed that if Petra had not told her children, her secret should be respected. Secrets...  It makes sense that Petra did not tell her young children before she died, but my mother wonders if she ever would have.  There is so much we will never know.

       One of the strangest twists of this story came when one of our relatives contacted us. She has spent time researching Petra's story and is convinced that Petra was innocent! The death certificate was natural causes, there was no evidence of a struggle, no witnesses, and claims at the trial were conflicted. Petra confessed stealing a watch and then a receipt was found. The trial was very quick - an 18 year old had inherited the aunt's estate and there were those who contested it. Our relative believed Petra was unfairly accused.

         This new theory came as a surprise.  What an awful addition to our imaginings, that she might have spent years in jail for a crime she did not commit. What was even more surprising was our disbelief, we had come to accept Petra's guilt, constructing a narrative so as to understand. We will never know.  Since the show has been aired, a few viewers have contacted us with stories of Petra, pictures and hints of letters. We hope to learn more,  but it was so long ago, I am afraid we will never have all the pieces of this story. Yet to know something of the trials and tribulations of my grandmother's life has been a gift. Petra had been a vague ancestor to me and now she is a real person.  She never returned to Norway after she left, but I have returned for her.

     Thanks Alt for Norge!

     I guess that is all for now, but the circles created by being on this show continue to grow. I have made contact with many relatives and hope to return to Norway next year.  My cousin Bodil, has a dairy farm and has promised that I can milk a cow! Because of my discoveries about Petra, I have rekindled connections with my cousins here in the United States and we are talking about a family reunion. I am staying in touch with the other contestants from Alt for Norge and I predict that some of us will remain friends. Petra traveled to China and may have felt that she had left Norway behind, but she kept her Bunad. The world is a terribly small place.  I am proud to be a Norwegian-American!

Until next time!  Ha det bra!(I hope that's right!)

Petra

     Usually the contestant who is eliminated gets a final interview and hug from Henrietta, is given a book with family contact information, and then is whisked away.  It happens pretty fast.  You are no longer part of the gang.  I got my book and, looking out over the fjord, I was ready to go home. I had a lovely time.  My only regret was that I did not get up to Nord-Trondelag to see the part of Norway where my grandmother, Petra, lived and I did not get a brown envelope with information about her. I had hoped to discover a bit more, but then, what is there to find out about a 26 year old?  When my aunt Rita had visited in 1980, the relatives she met could tell her nothing about Petra. I would have to accept that I would never know more about her.

     Then the producer told me they had a problem. I had been eliminated and they were planning on giving me an envelope next week.  Would I be up for receiving it now and they would show it earlier in the episode? I felt like I got the biggest door prize ever!  Of course I would want to see my envelope!  It was then that they told me that the information that they found was very "sensitive" and that, if I did not want it made public, they would not include it in the show.  I had come to really like and respect the producer, Thor, and Eli, the director, and they looked so serious, it was rather disconcerting.  Had my grandmother been a Nazi sympathizer?  No, the timing was off.  She left in 1917. What had they found out about my grandmother or was it some other person in my history? So, with a lot of excitement and a bit of apprehension, I waited as they set up for me to receive and read my envelope.

     I opened the envelope with a camera in front of me and Eli right behind asking me questions. There was a hand written letter to me written by an Alt for Norge staff member and Eli asked me to read it aloud. I have been a librarian and am good at reading ahead in my mind at the same time as I'm reading aloud, but when I got to the part about Petra being sentenced to jail, I just stopped. Wow! This was news. She had been sentenced to 15 years and pardoned after serving 5, all before she came to the USA.  I looked at the supporting information, but it was all in Norwegian.  The translation had not gotten into the envelope!  So I sat there thinking and wondering about what my grandmother might have done to get sent to jail, while someone ran back to the hotel to find the translation. Eli asked me questions as we waited. Did I have any idea of this?  NO.None.

     Finally, I was given the translation and we returned to shooting.  The page was a copy of the prison record with chaplain's notes. I read the crime - theft, arson and causing the death of her great aunt by suffocation with a counterpane. I was shocked. I think I said, "What the hell is a counterpane?"  I read that it happened in Trondheim; what was she doing in Trondheim?  Then there was a detail about a will and I was confused. What had been going on?  I had so many questions and few answers.  Then I read through the chaplain's notes, which were riveting.  Notes from visits over the 5 years Oline Petra (She changed her name!) was in prison. The chaplain noted how she cried and felt her life was "forfeit," of how she took solace in helping others, of how she came to embrace god.  It was almost too revealing of her inner torment.  That it was my grandmother made it both a gift and painful to read. I had wanted my grandmother to become more real and she had.  This is what I had come to Norway for, not games or contests or even scenery.  This was the true prize.

     Then I thought of my mother.  My mother who had lost her mother when she was just a child. My mother who had told me stories of her mother with such pride and love in her voice. My mother who had no idea that her mother had been convicted of killing someone and had spent time in jail when she was just 18.  I would have to go home and tell her, shattering her childhood image of her mother. That made me cry. I thought of my own son, almost 18, and wondered at this awful crime committed at such a young age.  I cried some more for Petra and her aunt.


      We wrapped up the camera shoot and they said they did not need an answer right away about whether they could use this scene.  I was glad of that as I wanted it to be OK with my mother. The shoot had taken so long that we would have dinner with the others, but they asked that I not share this story with the rest of the cast.  That was fine with me, I needed some time to digest this information.  But I did appreciate being able to say goodbye again. Hugs and photos and then, we were off. I wish them all well.

      Driving fast along the fjord to catch a ferry to Alesund, was the first time I missed driving. Wow!  I was going to be able to drive again soon. It was starting to sink in.  We stopped in Alesund and walked around. It was still light at midnight!  Overnight in a hotel, then a plane to Oslo where I had a day to explore on my own. I felt like a teen that has been set free by overbearing parents - sort of in shock.  I explored neighborhoods, shopped and found secondhand stores, bought lunch and ice cream and took pictures, reveling in being able to wander. Oslo seemed smaller than Portland and felt very comfortable.  I tried to enjoy this time and not to think, of being eliminated, of Petra, of going home. I would have time to figure it all out later.  It would take me more than 24 hours, but I was going home.

Episode 5 -Wonderbaums and Elimination

     Our next challenge is a collection of mini -challenges through out the town.  I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with these game like challenges as I was anticipating more outdoors type challenges.  I keep feeling like I am in some strange time warp acting out as an adult the sort of activities I did with my first graders.  You would think I would be glad not to have to climb a mountain, but I'm grumpy and have to fight my bad attitude. I really admire Jessica as she seems to be able to stay positive.  Maybe I should start meditating again!

     This challenge is a bit Russ-like, asking us to do silly things like eat a hotdog as quickly as possible (one of the things my husband really did not want to see me have to do for some reason).  Except for trying to kick a soccer ball past a goalie- (my goal was not to fall on my butt on camera!) all the challenges were timed. I think it is hysterical that I am doing this.  I have issues with time. Even as a child, I was nicknamed "turtle".  I was always the last in line - my attention wandering. I am always late and sometimes even get days mixed up.  And here I am, frantically counting seconds!  I try, I really do and actually find lots of wonderbaums, but not enough... Our team looses by a close margin.  We will go to an elimination round.  I am not happy, I would like to stay longer, but feel my commitment to being here slipping. Working for the team has kept me going. In an elimination round, I'm on my own.

     Our family is wonderful and I'm even more homesick.  There is nothing like good food and friends around a table in a home. I corner Tore Andre and talk about school. This homestay makes it very clear how much  this experience as a contestant on a reality TV show is a strange bubble.  But I am here - in Norway. The view is beautiful and my Norwegian family is out there somewhere. I try to pull myself together.  I do appreciate that this show does not pit us against each other, though I feel the tension between us today. One of us will have to go home.

     The next day we have off while the other team gets a gondola ride to the top of the mountain. (I still feel sad that we did not get to visit Pulpit Rock in Stavanger).  Our team gets to do interviews. But first we are asked if we want to swim in the fjord on camera.  We all say, yes!  I loved jumping in the fjord and am up for doing it again, except.. I left my swimsuit at the hotel and it has been lost.  Not that I wanted to wear a swimsuit on camera.  So, I wear a shirt and underwear into the fjord.  Todd takes his suit off underwater and swings it around, yelling, "Naked in a fjord!"  Of course, we all have to follow.  Its a bit awkward with the shirt, but I get it off.  I am naked in a fjord. It feels good!

      We are having interviews at the edge of the fjord.  It is a beautiful day and we hang, waiting for our turn, reading, writing in journals.  I am restless.  I see a kayak slide past and run down to talk to the guy.  One of my dreams is to kayak in the fjords and I ask if there are any for rent.  I can't believe it, but the guy offers to let me use his kayak as soon as he is done.  He even gave me the combination to the lock on the boat house!!  I've done my interview and beg our keepers to let me go. Tusen takk!  I got at least an hour and a half in that kayak and found a peace I had been missing.  I was in Norway, in a kayak, in a fjord. Whatever happened next was OK.
     As I was putting the kayak away, I had the sort of interaction that I love when traveling in a strange country.  I realized that I was not strong enough to pick up this long sea kayak.  I tried moving it bit by bit, when an old man came by and helped me. He knew almost NO English and my Norwegian is awful, but we pantomimed and laughed.  He said I was strong; we laughed. He flexed his muscles; we laughed.  He pointed to the mountains and bleated like a goat.  I have no idea what he was trying to say, but he was so lovely, it was wonderful.  If this was one of my last days, it would be fine.

Eliminated:
      The elimination challenge was really pretty easy and I only have myself to blame.  I lost my focus. It was another collection of stations with little challenges based on daily life. I should have aced them, but I didn't.  Instead I made a lot of errors.  Looking back, I can see that I was getting angry.

     The challenge had to be done by each contestant one at a time, with the rest of us waiting our turns.  I had gotten the last turn and waited in the hotel for a few hours.  It was a gorgeous day and I was in a dark hotel lobby, trying not to be nervous, but getting grumpy instead. I was getting claustrophobic and ready to bolt. I wanted to be in that kayak again.  I wanted to be outside without keepers - alone in nature.  I did not want to have to do a challenge on Alt for Norge.

      My inner curmudgeon won this contest. I raced through the challenge without really thinking - I just wanted it over.  And it was. When the results were announced, I was not surprised. To be honest, I was sort of relieved to be going home. I also felt that the others on my team deserved to stay and want to stay, more than me.  Alf's dedication to all things Norse is wonderfully sincere; Jessica is here for her family and to prove how strong she is: I'm not sure of Todd's motivation except we can all tell he plays to win and enjoys the entire process. I was here to explore Norway, to prove that I am still an adventurer, to give myself a break from things back home that are not working out, and to find out more about my grandmother. I am proud of being part of this show and have found a peace and strength in this land. I will definitely come back to Norway, but on my own terms.

Episode 5- Family!

     For our first challenge we are taken to a huge ugly industrial building that sits right at the edge of the fjord.  Obviously, their zoning does not consider aesthetics.  I presume this factory is a major employer.  It turns out to be a Pizza factory - yes - lets go for cultural dissonance - frozen pizza is terribly popular in Norway.  We are given a taste and, in my opinion, its really bad frozen pizza!!

  
     We are told our teams and I think this is the first time our two most competitive guys, Todd and Austin, are on different teams. This might be interesting! The challenge is to design and make a pizza which will be judged by locals.  Each team has a table of ingredients, including the strange giant crackers that are the pizza crusts. A gas oven is perched at the edge of the fjord, waiting for our pies.  After not as much waiting as usual, we put on our hair nets...
      My team has Todd, Alf, Jessica and me.  We check the ingredients provided and quickly decide on a surf and turf theme. I think we work well together, decisions get made, the pizzas come together, there is a bit of hesitation about Jessica's idea of sour cream spooned on at the end, but I agree its interesting and the others acquiesce. Both teams finish making four of the same pizza - enough to feed 60+ judges. We put them in the oven.
     Its then that we notice that the majority of the crowd that has formed to "judge" the pizzas are young enough that I am sure they are skipping school.  We start to worry. If we had know we were cooking for teens, we might have designed a different pizza. Ours has a "Rosemal design of red and yellow peppers" - not exactly what a hungry teen cares about or even notices. Actually, if we think about how much we disliked the Grandiose we tried, we might have designed a different pizza...
    We wait for the pizzas to cook and then, hear a yell - "the pizzas!"  The half cooked pizzas are sliding down the back of the oven. It seems the oven is not level and has been vibrating - enough to shake the pies at the top to the back of the rack and down....  We scramble to salvage them and find that the three that have fallen belong to our team - we have one left.  We are in shock.  The directors huddle and decide to send most of the crowd home. They choose a small group to judge - It will be a one-on-one pizza contest!  Each vote will mean a lot.
     There are three catagories, Creativity, Looks and Taste.We win on Creativity, but not on the others and so we loose this challenge. This is the not the first time I see the ugly side of competition as a team tries to accept a loss, but this time it is very clear.  Austin - the male model - has a bevy of young Norwegians clustered around him and our team mutters about the impartiality of the "judges".  Even though we are in a beautiful place, it does not feel good.
     The theme for this week is "Norwegian daily life" so we are asked to pack one bag and each team is brought to the driveway of a home in Stranda.  A local Norwegian family has volunteered to have us stay in their home for a few nights.  Having been a host for many exchange students, I know how much of an awkward  disruption foreign visitors can be. But it can also be a wonderful bridging of cultures and that seemed to be how our hosts welcomed us. Even with cameras following.

    Vebjorn and Merete Skog and their children Tore Andre and Hanne make me feel at home - which makes me think of my home and husband and children. It is wonderful and painful at the same time.  We cook dinner with cameras recording and it feels strange to be in a house instead of a hotel. Tore Andre reminds me so much of my son, it hurts.  I find I missed cooking and I even enjoy doing the dishes. I also find myself trying not to like their dog too much as it reminds me of own dog.  I miss home!

 We watch some television - Tore Andre has seen Alf on another Norwegian show and we watch as Alf leads an offering to a God.   The Skogs are lovely and a bit nervous. I know I can make a fool of myself on camera, yet it will barely be seen in the USA, but this is a small town. They are stepping out of their comfort zone and I appreciate that.  I expect to see Tore Andre or Hanne on my doorstep someday and they will be more than welcome!!

Episode 5- Stranda

     We all pile in the bus again for another week's adventure.  We have plotted on maps where we think our ancestors were from and there are a few of us from Trondheim and above.  We speculate that if we were going that far, we would fly, so we must be going somewhere else.  I am a bit disappointed.  I have found Namdalsteid on a map and put a red mark around the town.  The map has no topographical markings and I wonder if the area has mountains or rolling hills?  I know there had been a farm named Staven or AAgaard and wonder if it was still there.  I wonder how I would feel seeing the land where my grandmother had lived?  Alf got choked up telling us about the sign saying Herigstad, but then he cries easily.  I'm a harder nut.
    It is interesting though, how much I have been thinking of my grandmother.  Growing up, I honestly didn't think much of her. My mother was an orphan and that was, from a child's point of view, actually pretty cool to tell people. She had a few stories of her mother, but nothing of Norway.  All the stories I ever heard about my mother's growing up revolved around China, which makes sense - that is where she was born and lived until they returned to the USA, just before her parents died.
     My mother has always been a person who does not look back much and so, neither did I.  My grandmother, Petra was just a name and a few pictures; who needs another generation?  Then I had children and my mother became their grandmother and is such an important influence in their lives that I began to realize what I never had - a grandmother. A woman who left Norway when she was 26, then went to China, had 5 children and ran a school, must have been quite a character. Traveling through this gorgeous countryside, I tried to imagine Petra living here.  I built a picture in my mind of a bucolic life, hard, but lovely, and wondered why she had left.
     The bus follows the same route north and west - past Lillhammer towards Lom.  It almost feels like we are experiencing a Norwegian version of Ground Hog Day until, passing the Stave church again, we take a different road out of Lom.  I check the map - we are heading north! Isolated, cut off from our daily lives and our immediate families, the idea of a Norwegian family, a family that we did not know, but is waiting for us, has begun to take on increased significance. It looks on the map that we are heading towards More og Romstal - which is where Stephanie said her family was from. Is there an envelope that she will not receive? Its really too bad any of us have to be eliminated...
      The drive takes 10 hours!!  It only takes 13 hours to fly to China!!! I can't believe I am doing this!
 We go off on small roads, past farms and fields.  At one farm a group has gathered and they are wearing bunads!!!  Is it a wedding or other special celebration or do people just wear bunads here?  We go through some tunnels and some of the gang try to hold their breath.  It is too long.  These tunnels make me uncomfortable. Its silly as I go through tunnels in Portland all the time, but here - - there are too many and too long and they just feel - wrong.  I think of oil paying to cut through rock - a time warped geological rock/paper/scissors. Maybe I had some romantic ideal of Norway and have to let it go.

      Soon after the tunnel, we skirt the edge of a steep slope and look out over water - a fjord.  The view is gorgeous! Classic snow topped mountains dropping steeply down to water.  Following the fjord we wind our way down to the town of Stranda where we stop at the (the one and only) hotel. We are home for Episode 5.
     After checking in our rooms, a few of us put on suits and jump in the fjord.  I've been in colder water, but not by much.  That tingly feeling,  euphemistically referred to as "bracing" or "refreshing."  is really all your nerve endings and your peripheral tissue going into shock. Damm, it felt good!  Especially when followed by a swim in a warm pool!

17th of May!

Gratulerer Med Dagen!

      We are staying in the Grand Hotel!  My roomie is Tara and we get to spread out in our large lovely room. We have been told to leave our rooms unlocked and to expect a surprise in the morning.  We hope it will be bunads!!  A camera crew wakes us and follow as we get up to find bunads hanging in our room with notes.  Yes!!! We ooh and aahh; this is so much fun - even barely dressed.    
     Our major-domo mama, Brita, is from the same region as Tara and about the same size, so has lent her own bunad.  It is lovely with lots of embroidery and a cute hat and - a waist.  Mine is a rental from the region of Hollingsdal (?) and is a bit of a tent.  The plus side is that I will not have to suck it in, the con side is that it is not very flattering.  If I was 6 months pregnant, no one would notice!  But it does have gorgeous embroidery , pockets and velcro (the front panel attaches with velcro - I am tempted to do a strip tease just to hear the sound). But then there is another layer, and then the shirt and then the woolen tights.....  Another plus is the amount of bling;  I have more jewelry than anyone else. The outfit reminds me of old Norse aprons with chains and keys hanging from the buckles and echoes my research on the Norse in Greenland. Fitting!

     The rest of the cast come in to show off and its like Halloween and the Prom all rolled into one. We are so excited, this is living history!!!  In my opinion, the men look better than the women.  Regal, princely, stately. Johnathan wins the unusual award with an outfit that screams ethnic Nordic/Germanic/ Storybook character and he looks great!  I don't think the other guys could have pulled it off.

     We gather in the lobby and wait, then finally go outside and see... bunads!  Everywhere.  Norwegians actually wear bunads! Coming from a culture that has shallow roots and being a daughter of a wandering  orphan, this identification of place is both attractive and very strange. I have always felt like an outsider and, though often envious of those that "belong", I am suspicious of the boundaries that we mark between us. It is too easy, I think, for regionalism to lead to nationalism and nationalism to lead to conflict.
     But Norwegians have reason to be proud.  They have a beautiful country, a forward Constitution, a history of open-mindedness and courage, and now, stability and oil.  Who could ask for more?  I raise my Norwegian flag and walk towards the palace. I am 1/4 Norwegian!
     TV Norge has a place set aside for us near the Palace. We wait as a crowd gathers and then hear the sound of bands.  As we wait, it strikes me how small this country is, on this national celebration the crowd seems barely as large as one in Portland for a jazz festival or a gay pride celebration. But the enthusiasm is palpable.  The bands pass by, dancers stop and perform and then the King and family come out on the balcony.  I grew up in Washington, DC the USA capitol, and I think I have a sense of power and politics, but seeing a King waving to his people - was something new.  I felt like I was in a fairy tale and was terribly aware of how much I am an American.
      Before the parade is over, we have to leave, weaving through the crowd to a waiting bus and then to lunch. I do not envy the other team.  They each had to pack their things this morning in anticipation that they might lose the elimination challenge and have to leave.  We raise our glasses and skol : Gratulerer Med Dagen! We all made it to the 17th of May.

     From lunch, we walk to a park and the other team is spirited away to be told - on camera - what their challenge will be.  We are told also - they will have to give speeches about the 17th of May.  I feel for them, as I know most people hate to give public speeches, but I am also jealous, as, for some warped reason, I love to speak in public. I am sure I would rock at this challenge.  Instead, our team joins a school picnic, standing in line for potato races, and bean bag throws, buying sweets at the baked goods stand.  It is obvious that Todd misses his girls as he interacts with the children around us.
     Finally, it is time for the speeches.  Dana goes first and I'm impressed- he is fiery and proud.  Johnathan is a sincerely enthused professor, Alf's speech is heartfelt and mirrors his grounded integrity, Amy dares to speak of tolerance and the current shootings and trial. They are all good, but I am not the judge, it will be two members of the Sorting -or Parliment - who will send someone home.
     We wait and take pictures.  Then it happens, so quickly it almost comes as a surprise - the judges have opinions and Dana will go home.  This one hurts, somehow more than the others.  Dana has been the bad boy in the back of the class - throwing spit balls and annoying our keepers.  We need him to remind us that the Emperor has no clothes. Tara - who has bonded with him- is in tears. It is hard to see him go. We will all miss him.
     The 18th of May is Jessica's birthday and she has wanted to be here to celebrate and she is!  We all go out to a club, to drink and dance, then go back to the hotel.  I don't know what it is - maybe the music, but I am feeling old again - with the sense that I am watching my children or the ghosts of my younger self.  I need to go to bed, read a bit and drink my whiskey alone. Most of them go out again and have a memorable time. Jessica has her birthday bash! Alf has a great tale of a woman dancing with him and putting his beards in her mouth!  C.J., for some reason, ends up sleeping in a hallway of the Grand Hotel. He looks awful the next day.
       Before we give up our bunads, we go to the roof of the Grand Hotel.  The night before Todd had introduced a song idea - a Bunad rap and we had all feverishly, drunkenly, written lyrics, laughing and cheering as we worked the beat.  Seems he had talked the director into filming us, so we scramble, writing down what we remember and then perform it - doing only two takes.  Its a winner!!!
http://youtu.be/T2sDHSbIds4
     Now that we are done shooting scenes, it is time to leave the Grand Hotel.  We pack and move to another hotel, then have a day off in Oslo.  I like Oslo.  Its an easy town to explore.  I walk in the morning to the waterfront and the castle and then Johnathan and I take the bus to the Folkmuseum and wander among houses from various centuries.A lovely afternoon.  I always hoped I would get to Norway and here I am!

Oslo! Episode 4

      For most of us May 17th has been a short term goal - we wanted to make it to this celebration of the Constitution. We want to wear Bunads - we hope we get to Russe. Jessica wants to be here for her birthday. Johnathan is almost vibrating.  It is almost time.
     Back in the Oslo suburbs we try not to think about how close we are to downtown Oslo.  We have a day off.  Jessica and I watch women's handball on TV - Denmark vs. Hungary- wow!  (It seems like a neat sport - why don't we have this in the USA?)  We go to a Mall and get to go shopping and bowling.  Everything is very expensive!!  Poor C.J. has been losing clothes in the laundry and is appalled that he is paying $40 US for basic underwear.
     We discover a store devoted to Bunads and Jonathan is terribly excited.  Its there that I realize that the silver pin I brought , which I thought was middle-eastern, is actually Norwegian!  Wow!  Sort of gives me chills - I have tons of pins and chose this one to bring - the pin wanted to come back to Norway.
     We have been away almost a month now. I am beginning to miss home, my husband, my son, my dog.  Its funny what I miss.  I miss classical music and quiet.  I miss being in charge of my time and walking the dog.  I miss privacy and working in my garden.  I miss vegetables!  Lord, I crave a good salad!  But I am here and want to stay as long as I can, so push those thoughts away.
     We get to take a train for our entrance into Oslo - thank goodness they take our luggage so we don't have to lug it around.  I feel very conspicuous on the train as we are so loud, while the Norwegians are terribly quiet. Cameras are waiting, of course, and follow us through the streets as we enter the city.  Oslo is smaller than I had expected, but definitely a vibrant city -classic European mix of old and new.  Very clean and full of sculptures and flowers!
       We head towards the Palace and are told the first challenge will be a scavenger hunt.  We are given clues, a camera, a map and transit passes. We get to explore the city! I feel like I am doing one of my own elementary school activities.

     This is the first time I am on a team with Todd, Tara and Austin - who are the most obviously competitive of our group. I am hopeful of success!  Sure enough, they start to strategise ASAP.  These guys play to win and it is clear my job will just be to keep up. Turns out I am right.  They "power walk" everywhere and I'm glad that I am in somewhat decent shape and don't embarrass myself.  CJ and the crew are smokers and are left huffing and puffing.  We have asked people on the street and mapped out the clues - everyone is pumped and confident - we speed between clues and make great time. When we get to the last clue, at the Grand Hotel, I'm very tired.

       Then we wait...  sequestered in a back room.
We presume we are first, but have no idea.  Finally, we get to join with the other team for results.  We have made one error - which will cost us a lot of time.  We did not pay close enough attention to the clues! We are sure we have lost. But we did take the subway instead of the tram and it turns out we were much faster and win.  We are surprised, but happy. We are closer to staying another week.

     The next day, we are all still hoping for a Russ challenge - some folks have even "practiced" drinking w/o hands, etc..  So when we are brought to a table in the middle of a main thoroughfare and see it is covered with musical instruments, I can feel the disappointment.  We will be street musicians!!!  I can honestly say that this was my least favorite challenge.  Now, as anyone who watches the show can tell, I do not mind making a fool of myself, but this was demoralizing.
     We quickly learned that Norwegians do not like loud or obnoxious or TV cameras - so we are left with making spectacles of ourselves and begging.  It is not pretty and does not feel good. We do not have much "musical" talent, so are desperate.  Austin has taken his shirt off, Tara is giving kisses - we are almost wandering into the crowd, pushing the boundaries of where we have been told to stay.  But we actually make money - I think people are curious and maybe, hopefully entertained. Either that or they pity us!
     After lots of waiting, we are told the results - one team made much more than the other and it is us!  It seems the other team depended on Amy who danced and Dana who played music - they actually were street artists and got much less than we did.  Amy becomes very upset and it turns out that someone on the street insulted her for dancing in public. She shared something she loves and is proud of and gets called names. It feels very yucky and we are all glad this challenge is over!  With experiences like this, it is hard to remember why I am here.  But tomorrow is the 17th of May - that is something special to look forward to.


    

Stavanger -Episode 3

     A day in Oslo getting used to the idea that every week the group will get smaller.  It seems that we have been together forever.  So far, Tara, Austin and Amy have been given special information and taken somewhere special.  We share more about what we know of our ancestors and how much we want to meet our families.  Its funny how being so close makes it mean so much more.  We make wild guesses about where we are going next -but are given no information...
     Finally, we are told that we are taking an airplane in the morning.  Even after arriving at the Oslo airport we still do not know our destination and make guesses based on departing flights.
     Stavanger!
      Stavanger is a real city and we are staying in the center of town.  We can actually wander and shop, explore, buy a beer and talk to strangers!  It feels so good after being sequestered outside Oslo.  We are told that the next day we will be visiting an oil rig.  The TV crew is very excited -seems they have tried to get permission for years.

     We have to wear survival suits - in case the helicopter crashes.  The suits are watertight and will keep you alive - for awhile - in the North sea.  They are big and orange with boots, hoodies and gloves. Did I say big?  Trust me, these things were not designed for women or short people.  I feel like a large fashion challenged troll. They are VERY hot to wear.
    The helicopter we take is a large one - so large it doesn't really feel the way I always imagined a helicopter ride to feel.  It is loud and we wear headsets so the Captain can speak to us.  The rest of the time there is music - everyone else seems to love the music - but I'm getting very tired of music all the time - I turn it off and look out the window.  We fly for almost 45 minutes out into the North Sea.  Its a beautiful day with blue sky and nothing but sea... Finally we see oil rigs like dots in the sea.  We are going to the biggest oil rig in the world!  Definitely not something I was expecting to do on this trip!
    The rig itself is sort of anti-climatic.  It is big enough that inside you forget you are not on land.  But today the weather is very calm, so maybe that helps.  The place has a military feel - with lots of warning sounds and locked doors.  Maybe the fact that most of the workers are men adds to that feeling.  We eat in the cafeteria, get suited up in overalls, hat and gloves and get a tour - then wait, and wait some more.
     The competition is, again, not something I would have guessed.  There is a large vat of goo filled with coins (supposed to be mud - but is more like brown snot- find out later its a food product -I'm guessing seaweed or something).  Then there is a barrel of oil (again fake as it does not smell or feel greasy, though it is black and has a similar consistency. I'm guessing real oil would be a health problem.)  The competition: One team must pump the oil into buckets while the other team collects the $ from the mud.  Then teams switch - when all the buckets are full - the other team has to stop collecting $.  The team that gets the most $ wins.
     Who thought this up?  I do wonder what else we could have done on the rig - this area is about as safe as it gets here - we could almost be in a parking lot.  Its messy and almost fun, though a bit cold.  We are quickly up to our armpits in fake mud!  When the first round is done, we clean up and do interviews while the crew counts the coins.  Then we switch.  It takes most of the afternoon.  When the challenge is done our team has lost by 12 kroner!! So close!!!  We fly home as the sun sets -Even though we lost, it has been a great day.
      Second competition:
     We are told to dress warmly for tomorrow's competition and it turns out most of us still get cold.  It is raining and we go to an island - the island of Bru.  It is beautiful, even in the rain. The challenge is at a fishery.   We have to catch/kill/gut and pack salmon.  It will be a timed race.  We are outfitted in white suits and shown how to do this properly.  Then interviews: How do you feel?  Jessica is having a hard time with killing the fish and becomes a focus. This is TV.
      The fish are hard to catch - I've caught them before slowly, but with so many hands grabbing, they are panicked.  There is lots of water and running.  Alf and I are from the NW and have some experience with fish, so we hope to be able to do this quickly.  We whack and bleed, then wait the required 3 minutes. Alf and I gut like crazy and pass them to Amy to wash and get inspected. Its pretty crazy!!! We have an extra fish somehow..which I go ahead and gut.  I am a gutting machine! The other team yells that they won, then our team yells NO, Austin was at the truck first.  Lots of confusion, but it seems we did win. Up and down emotions for everyone. Felt very strange, but my team is safe from elimination for another week.  I am not ready to go home yet.
     Another great meal in Stavanger.  I have coined this experience Luxury Bootcamp.  The food is wonderful, great beef and salmon, though I don't understand the lack of green vegetables.  Potatoes are not a vegetable and a few slices of cucumber do not count.  I crave a big salad. And one glass of alcohol a day is a diet for me, but that is probably for the best.  The hotel rooms are very nice, but small and most of us are not used to sleeping in a bed with someone else. Since we are rarely anywhere for more than a few nights, we are literally living out of our suitcases.
      The next day is overcast.  The winning team was supposed to go to a famous rock - Pulpit Rock overlooking a fjord, but the helicopter is broken and the weather is bad, so it is cancelled.  I'm pretty disappointed.  I really love beautiful places with a view and was excited about another helicopter ride.  But really, I'd rather hike there, so will have to do that some other time!
     Instead we have a day of interviews - another beautiful place near the water.  The day has turned nice -cold and windy with blue sky.  We have to stay in the bus, but when I am finally allowed out, I sit on a rock and stay until we have to go.  The area is so beautiful with farms and hills full of sheep!  This is Alf country... he has been whisked away to see a farm.  I am sure he will cry as this obviously means a lot to him.
     That afternoon we get to try lutefisk. With all the hype, I was really expecting something bad - like the blue cheese of fish, but this is more like fish flavored erasers.  I had a harder time with the pea puree that came with it, but some folks could barely eat it.  The Akavit helped!  After watching us beat and bleed fish, yesterday, Jessica had decided she could not eat fish anymore. She is very principled, made more difficult by the fact that we each got a beautiful lusekofte (sweater) if we ate it all.  She held her ground!
       That evening, I go out with the others.  We are looking for Karaoke, which I have never done.  I don't really go out much. Theater, movies, concerts, but not bars.  I'm up for trying it!  Alf has a great voice, Todd does a wonderful theatrical Madonna song - such stage presence!  I don't quite pay attention to the others as I look for a song I might actually know.  I end up singing Papa Don't Preach with something stuffed under my shirt.  I'm bad, so bad some local guy tries to interrupt me.  But I don't really care- this is fun! 
      The next day is a free morning for our team while the other team prepares for their elimination challenge.  I wander all around and end up going into the local church which has a gorgeous old tapestry with a Viking ship.  I sit and think of being here for another week and staying open to new adventures. I realize that one of the hardest parts of this experience is the lack of privacy.  I am used to spending a lot of time alone!
       I don't want to think of home, but I do need to bring gifts - so shopping is in order.  Everything is so expensive here, I am not sure what I can afford.  I discover a second hand store with sweaters out front - lovely Norwegian sweaters for $300 kroner and under ( $20 US).  Wow!  And then double wow, when I notice the 50% off sign.  My family members are getting Lusekofte!!!  (I'm guessing many Norwegians are tired of looking so Norwegian!!)  Since I buy most of my clothes second hand, they will get a kick out of me finding a second hand store in Norway.

     We have been told what the elimination challenge is:  Black Metal -Norway's musical export.  (Since I was a school teacher, I  know something about Black Metal.  My own kids like classical music!)  The challenge will be to write lyrics, translate them into Norsk, then perform in front of an audience with well known Black Metal musicians.  I am glad that I don't have to do this, but I am sure that Jessica and C.J. are pumped.  We are taken to a warehouse and wait.  We can hear the band practicing, even through the earplugs we have been given.  A small crowd gathers - some with children.  Finally, we are allowed in and the Red team comes out one by one to perform.  It is so much fun to watch, I almost wish I could do it. Yelling and screaming, shaking my head!!!  But some of them are really good and one will go home.
      The audience voted and Mary Carol will go home.  I really feel for her as the challenge was skewed to youth, I know how much a stretch it is to be one of the older contestants.  She did a great job!  We are all subdued as she leaves, another gone.  Jessica gets the troll and is safe for another week.  A good trade for a lusekofte!
      As we leave, I give every cast member an Alf beard  I made  (needing something to do with my hands).  I love this picture:  

Just like Alf - silly and serious - strong and heartfelt - at the same time!

Episode 2- Elimination

     When they tell us the elimination challenge, I can hardly believe it.  A memory game!  I had watched all the past season's episodes and was ready for all sorts of physical challenges and here we are, in the middle of a beautiful rugged place - inside playing a memory game.  I know as one of the older contestants, I probably have a better chance of staying here without a physical challenge, but still, I'm having to let go of my expectations. I'm usually pretty good at memory, in spite of my age, but I wanted challenge and nature and physical exhilaration, not mind games.
      We are all very tense. CJ looks like he will explode, Dana is vibrating, Jessica is sort of concentrated, Alf is sadly serious - he is exempt, but worried, Stephanie seems the most positive. I'm trying to stay calm and focus. Again the waiting.  Which does not help. We are all very serious.  One of us will go home.
      Finally, we are allowed into the room that has been filled with Norwegian knick-nacks,; there is more stuff than I had expected.  Lots of stuff.  I try to get  a visual picture of each item.  I try not to notice the others, but keep a sense of the door.  Suddenly, CJ bolts - I'm on the far side of the room.  Everyone panics and follows CJ - running for the door.  Jessica and I are hip to hip.  Its sort of funny.  I'm not going to wrestle with her.  I am last. It never occurred to me that I should have stayed and used up the time allotted.
       We have finished early and the cameras are not ready.  We wait.  It is rather excruciating.  Dana yells at the crew.  I know I'm thinking about the very real possibility that I will have to go home.  I do not want to go home yet.  I do not want to be first.  I'm not sure I can win, but I want to see more of Norway. I'd love to get one of the envelopes and learn more about my grandmother and her family.
      We file in and, after more waiting, begin the game.  Stephanie makes more mistakes than the rest of us and, finally it is down to just the two of us.  I realize that I've been a mother too long when I find myself thinking of letting her win.  She reminds me of my daughter - she is having such a great time. Mother's do that, sacrifice.  But part of the reason I am here is that I feel it is time for me to do things I want to do.  I want to be here in Norway.  I focus and get a right answer.  Stephanie has to go home.  I feel so badly for her, but I am relieved.

      I am surprised how emotional we all are. This is just a TV show, but we have all bought in - we have come to care about each other, yet we do not want to lose.  Welcome to Alt for Norge!

Episode 2-Challenges

  

      We barely unpacked in Lom as we were given INFORMATION to be ready for the bus early the next morning. We were all sure the mountains beckoned.  Sure enough, we began to climb, the road narrowed and we traveled up in elevation.   I was very impressed with our driver, Marit, as we kept climbing.  The road had no middle line, but was still considered two way....  Every view out the window was breathtaking!  Snow, snow and more snow!

Finally, we stopped the bus to check out the snow walls on either side of the road -a photo op!  Then we kept going ....through a tunnel and down.

       Our first real "challenge" is in the town of Skjolden - which is pronounced totally differently than I could grasp - the skj seems to make an English shh sound. Skjolden is at the base of mountains, at the far end of a fjord.  The ride down was AMAZING --(Johnathan's favorite word!)  I live near mountains and have seen great views, but this was gorgeous and scary with switch backs going down the mountians.  I think this is my first Norwegian fjord!  We are all very excited - even the crew -many of them who live in cities - ran out to take photos as we were coming down.

       In Skjolden we get our first taste of real competition with lots of waiting and re-doing shots, then a furious flurry of timed activity - cramming luggage into a car. I have a bad "mommy" moment and begin arguing with Alf about packing!  Embarrassing!!!  We end up not having the back door of the car closed and loose the competition. This feels bad as it has become increasingly clear that this is not a vacation, someone will be going home this week. I'm not sure how many of us really like these contests. But there is a camaraderie that develops with a team that I had forgotten.  I really do not want to see any of them leave.
     The "theme" of the week is mountians and a "hytta" is a mountain cabin.  The car packing was supposed to simulate packing for a hyttatur.  We are staying in two hyttas - by teams and they are cozy.  Some folks are a bit wary of the outhouse, but there is electricity - which I consider a luxury in a cabin!  There is no running water - so we melt snow to boil.  We have been given "traditional" foods - like fish balls to cook.  Now we really feel that we are in Norway!  We play cards and get to know each other better, ready for the final team competition.  The outhouse is entertaining - I have known many outhouses, but this one has a board missing in the back and the wind howls through it - a wind tunnel, blowing wastes and paper back towards you.  Very annoying!!

        The challenge will be at Sognfejellet, a lodge/restaurant that we had passed before.  Seems it is a famous skiing area - where Olympic skiers train.  The snow is beautiful - I am restless and would love to ski!  We wait, and wait.  Finally we are introduced to Harvald Hanevold an Olympic medalist and are told the challenge: a Biathalon!  Well, I have skied cross-country, but have never shot a gun.  I am not sure about the others, this will be interesting!  Turns out the skis are skate skis with NO traction.  I am used to wax or scales and fall right away.  With a bit of practice, it get easier, but I would not say I'm good and some of the others are really struggling. CJ he has only skied downhill a few times, Jessica has only skied when she was 10, Stephanie has raced downhill. I have no idea of the other team.
      We get to practice shooting - they ask me to try first - I'm guessing because I made a big deal out of never having shot before.  I did once have good vision - but my eyes are getting squirrely if I focus too long. I lay down and  I get the first one! and the second! I try standing and get some also.  I am stoked!!!!  My son is into guns and will be so proud of me!
      Red team goes first.  We have to choose the order and have three shoot lying down and three standing. Standing is supposed to be harder. We get 30 seconds off our time for each missed shot.  C.J offers to start.  I said I would shoot standing - I think getting up and down is tricky. We have our order and wait... and wait... the weather begins to get worse.  Snow is blowing sideways. It is COLD - especially standing still -waiting. Finally, the cameras are ready and CJ begins.  His strategy is slow and steady- not to fall and it works. He is a good shot.  Steph.races around and shoots well, Jessica shoots well -3/5. I try to be fast and steady, but fall, then lose a pole and have to back up.  I pull hard on the last little hill and then.... realize that it is really hard to shoot while gasping for breath. I miss the first 3 then get 2.  (Funny detail: I raise the gun a few times and lower it to catch my breath - I'm almost ready to fire the first time, when one of the teachers - Halvord? leans over and moves my hand, saying," the trigger is down here".  Makes me realize that I know NOTHING!!!  I am shooting a gun and know Nothing!!  I hit the target and know Nothing - makes me very nervous - guns should not be this easy.) 
      Alf goes and loses his pole - very dramatic and funny at the same time.  Dana blitzes the track then misses all 5.  We are done.... We feel good, but know it will be close.  We have interviews and are somewhat positive.  I'm getting tired of the questions; How do you feel?  What if you lose?  Over and over....   But Jessica has a great attitude: "That was so much fun!  I got to ski and shoot a gun in Norway!"
       We have to wait for the other team and cannot watch.  The tension is hard.  Finally, the Blue team comes in looking somber, but I overhear Todd saying that they think they have it to a crew member and someone else calls Austin "champ".  We may lose.
       We go outside for the results - the weather has gotten better - seems the sun came out for the Blue team.  We wait and wait, cameras, lights, sound - finally, actually more than once, since they need multiple shots - "Blue team wins".  I feel heavy and sad.  I can't quite believe it - It must have come down to a few missed shots or the lead time they had.  More interviews - I hate this tension - this flaying of nerves.  How do you feel?  One of us will have to go home.
        Next day is Reality day - cameras wake us up! We eat breakfast for the cameras and then have interviews.  It is hard not to get nervous.  We ask about the elimination competition and they tell us there is no way we can prepare.It will not be physical or have to do with language.
      Austin and Amy have been given "family envelopes" and shuttled away to visit somewhere special. They return with wonderful stories.  Amy's town still has her name!  She tells us about wandering around the farm, crying.  It seems Austin's ancestor started the first hotel in Norway and it still exists!  He said he bawled like a child.  Their stories make me want to see where my grandmother lived even more.
       I go for a walk in the snow to a hill behind the house with Jessica and Lasse. I really just want to put on skis and explore, but have no skis. I feel a bit claustrophobic - in the middle of vast mountains. I am wondering what I am doing here?   This is an amazing adventure for all of us, but I have traveled and could go home. How much do I want this?  Tensions are a high. We are all more quiet than usual.

Episode 2 -Travel

      We are traveling into the center of Norway!!!  We had been told to dress warmly, so we are all hoping for snow.  We have stowed our bags full of Helly Hansen gear -we are ready for weather.  The day before, I searched the nearby mini-mall for a good map of Norway - with roads and towns and kommunes - a bit shocked when the one I found was more than $20 -American, but I bought it anyway.  I love maps and like to know where I am.  I pull it out and follow where we are going - up E-6 north. At one point one of the directors asks me to put it away, but I sneak it out and follow where we are.
      The energy is palpable, lots of singing and laughter, we are on the road - in Norway!  The group is starting to feel comfortable - we all have a sense of each other and are past the getting-to-know-you stage. It reminds me of the dynamics of summer camp - a diverse group of people thrown together for a short term experience.  You bond in a way that doesn't happen in many other situations in our "regular" lives.  Spending 24 hours together, in a strange place with a strange language, participating in a crazy adventure,  how could we not bond?
      This group is funny and media saavy - slamming out dialog from a favorite movie: Jessica - belting out a song for every occassion: Amy.  Dropping names of the coolest films and comedians: C.J.  Dropping names in general: Austin. Todd seems to know it all - which amazes me as he is older than most of them. Jonathan is AMAZED at everything and constantly snapping photos.(Thank you!)  Mary Carol seems a bit in her own world -reminding me of a teenager with her headphones, but then jumps in with comments and Alf - Alf is just even keeled and good humored - wisdom of age?
        Speaking of age - I'm fighting off the feeling that I am a chaperone on a high school field trip. I feel old. There is a cultural divide. I don't know the songs, I find much of the music grating and I haven't seen most of the movies they talk about.  Damm.....  But they are all funny and nice and I want to forget that I'm 30+ years older.  I can dance, I can sing,  just you wait! In fact, this first long bus ride falls on my birthday!  I am 58 today.  The crew gives me a gift of books and chocolate and sings me what I presume is happy birthday in Norwegian.  It is very sweet of them. The books are by Norwegian writers, but thankfully are in English!!
        Counting pit stops, the ride takes all day. But I love being in a new place.  I'm asking questions like crazy - what is the main crop here?  How do people living in the countryside make a living?  Do they commute?  Is the forest public or private? What kind of bird is that?  After many, "I don't know"s, Mama Christine -laughs and admits that she is a city girl - I need to stop asking her.  So I do.

      I see signs for Lillehammer and check the map again. We have been following a large body of water for miles - Christine says it is a lake, not a fjord. She knows that!  Finally, we begin to go west!!!  We leave the main highway and take a smaller road. It begins to wind up along a river; there are mountains in the distance - very beautiful mountains. We come into the town of Lom.  There is a Stave church at the far end. I'm somewhat obsessed with medieval Scandinavia and have always wanted to visit a Stave church.  The bus pulls into a parking lot at a hotel nearby.  We all practically run over to the church, but it is late evening and it has closed. We wander the graveyard, looking at names and dates, searching for our names. It was interesting to see many locals with shovels and rakes - they had been tidying the graves.  This is Norway!

Schedule

     These first weeks have been an introduction - to each other, the crew and the reality of reality TV - or as one of the crew likes to call it, "scripted reality".  There is a script - not of words for us to say, but a general outline of the show. The places we visit have been selected, the  challenges decided, the questions we will be asked (over and over) scripted.  This is a job - though a very wonderful one.
     Every week we will travel - somewhere - they will not tell us.  The element of surprise is very important!!!  This is probably one of the strangest things - to let go of knowing where you are and what will happen next.  We, usually only know what will be happening for a few hours at a time - "We will meet at 6pm for more INFORMATION".  I presume its not that they are disorganized, but that it is a way of keeping us in a state of anticipation. It works.  It also requires being very passive - letting go of having control of one's life - a strange state for a 58 year old.  I wonder if the younger contestants find it as difficult. Our "managers" are three lovely young women - but its going to take me a while to call women who could be my daughters, "mama!"

     There is a schedule.  One day of travel - then 2 -3 days filming a challenge, one day of "reality" filming us doing regular things and having interviews (they need responses to the week's experience from everyone in the show- so lots of down time for the rest of us)  The days are not necessarily in that order, but generally adhered to.  Then another day of travel - back to home base in Oslo and then a day off.
      Home base, for now at least, is a hotel on the outskirts of Oslo.  A nice place, but isolated - seems they want to keep us out of downtown.  (A later suprise?)  Its fascinating to watch a group deal with time off - some are disciplined - working out, studying, others are more social - hanging out, watching TV together, others are adventuresome and wander off exploring.  And some write in journals or sleep.
     I find I am terribly restless and wander - there are paved paths all around - along the highway that lead to commuter rail stations and then up into residential areas.  I wander. I know no-one and don't speak Norwegian - I feel sort of invisible walking along, but I love just checking out Norway. The houses are small and close together - but nicely tended with mini -orchards in the yards. There must be lots of children because I see trampolines everywhere!   I'm in Norway!
     But I can't be gone long - I have to be back at Home Base for more INFORMATION.

Competition

       For the first competition, we are divided into teams and I have a queasy feeling.  What have I done?  I really dislike teams, in fact, most competition in general.  I am about as anti- team sports as you can get. I don't like the underlying group antagonism, the us vs. them.  I much prefer individual sports and the challenge of besting your self. Yet here I am, wearing a red fleece - committed to helping my team for weeks, if I can make it.
       Again... what have I done?
        I lied... to myself mostly.  I watched past episodes and thought - what fun!  How challenging!  I'd love to do that!  As competitions go, Alt for Norge is nice - they switch teams, they do their best to promote a general mood of affection among contestants.  I can do that!
        I REALLY WANT TO GO TO NORWAY.
       For my audition tape, I think up the snappy line that "its time brains and experience trump beauty and brawn."  I almost believe myself.
       When the producers ask me in my interview if I am competitive, I hedge.  I admit that I don't really like to win for the sake of winning, but that I compete against myself and, if I'm next to someone, I want to be better than them.
       I lie.  The reality is I am a wild card. Sometimes I get the competitive urge, most times I don't. I'm a fickle competitor, probably not a horse to bet on. I don't like the feeling of competition, the distance you have to place between yourself and others. Why push to win if it creates that distance? Yes, this is an unrealistically friendly attitude. If I like someone, I find I don't care as much about winning.  I'm only really competitive if I'm pissed off, but I don't like the way that feels.
       So,  what to do?  I feed off the others.  They are young and its all still a game to them.  They are not jaded and bitter like I am.  I can do this! I will not let them down. I can have fun.  I am in NORWAY!
Go RED team!!!

Fellow Contestants

Thought I would introduce my fellow contestants with just a few notes to get acquainted.  Most of them were young enough to be my children and were generally outgoing. I think most of us were used to being the loudest person in the room!  Following a conversation with all of us was near impossible. Interesting to spend so much concentrated time with strangers and see how we bonded.

Jessica Brustad

Jessica is 28 from San Diego - just engaged to be married.  She has a degree in Chemical Engineering, but is now a Yoga Instructor.  Very high energy - I swear she needs yoga just to calm herself down!  Cheerful, disciplined- meditates and works out daily- Spiritual, fun lady.

Dana Dinsmore

Dana is 31 from Hawaii - and definitely a SURFER!!   He works setting  satellite towers and trimming coconut trees.  Laid back, mischievous, wonderfully surprising.  Tends toward handstands in strange places....

Alf Herigstad

Alf is 49 from Olympia, WA.  He works construction and has a small mini-farm.  He is a follower of Asatru - a neopagan faith based on old northern European Heathenry.  Very strong and very sweet - cries at the drop of a hat -and then makes fun of himself.  He has grandchildren!!!

Amy Hesteness

Amy is 24 from Moorhead, Minnesota.  She works in Day Care and at a Dance Costume store.  This girl is funny and full of music. She belly dances and has a song for every occasion.  She is also very brave going to Norway as the only person of color in our group.

C. J. Foss

C.J. Foss is 22 and delivers Chinese Food.  He also has 5 screenplays in the works and has begun doing stand-up comedy.  He reminds me of the Talented and Gifted students I used to work with - funny, brilliant and a bit quirky.

Todd Ferris

Todd is 32 from Zionsville, Indiana.  He used to be a highschool teacher, but now sells Real Estate.  Todd is funny, tuned in to music and seems to be a teen jock at heart.  He loves games, I can imagine him as a coach. He has young twin girls and his wife is expecting another child in the fall.

Tara Filer

Tara is 32 from Rouge River, Oregon.  She does a bit of everything, sales, biology field work, and art work.  She does beautiful drawings of animals!  She may look like a beauty queen, but she is used to roughing it.  Has a great smile and laugh.

Austin Muller

Austin is 23 from Wisconsin, but living in LA.  He works as a model and loves traveling around the world.  Very focused  and disciplined - he knows his body is his work - exercise, food balance - supplements.  More down to earth than you might think! 

Stephanie Reese

Stephanie is 27 living in LA.  She is a dancer currently exploring burlesque.  Also works managing a rental unit and as a spray tan artist- what it takes to survive in LA.  Positive and full of music - breaking out in song!

Johnathan Richards

Johnathan is 22 from Houston, Texas.  He is a college student majoring in history - his thesis is on the Norwegian resistance to the Nazi in WWII.  He is obsessed with Norway!  Obsessed in a good way. Cute, funny - a 40 year old professor in a 20 year old body.

Mary Carol Serritella

Mary Carol is 58 (one month older than me!) and from LA.  She has 3 grown children and at least 3 small businesses - making candy, doing make up and designing clothing.  She is the most physically flexible person I know.  She does pole-dancing and is very into it - dropping into the splits anytime -anywhere!